I dealt with a situation recently, and it left me feeling a little out of sorts. A very dear friend of mine stopped speaking to me all of a sudden. I replayed conversations over and over in my mind to try to get down to the real reason why she decided to “cut me off.” I went down the list..I called her on her birthday. The last time we talked we had a great conversation. I’m loyal. I have not spoken harsh words about her. I completed my mental checklist and still came up with nothing!! And it sucks when a person has no idea of what they did to deserve such treatment!! I’ve taken my time, this time, to dissect my feelings and not resort to petty antics because my feelings were hurt. My first inclination was to delete her from all social media!! I’ll beat her to it, I thought to myself. And yeah, while I’m at it, I’ll erase her contact information from my phone too!! LOL!! Then I sat back and said, “Cassandra, you are 37 years old! This is not how you respond.”
So here are some takeaways that I learned from this life lesson.
1) It is not my job to chase an adult around to figure out what the issue is if they have chosen not to bring it to me for us to address. The only way we resolve issues and misunderstandings is to talk about it.
2) If I know, I have been loyal and attempted to be the best human being I could be toward that person; there is no need to second-guess myself. I’m free to walk away with no regrets.
3) It’s not about me. Although my feelings are hurt, I don’t get to determine how someone else can and will handle a situation. I may not like it, but I will respect it.
4) I don’t have to harbor any ill feelings. I have to make peace with what is.
5) Move forward.
If you have ever experienced a situation like this it and you are an empath, it is a hard pill to swallow. It’s hurtful if you have high expectations of the friendship for things to end this way. But we have to realize that it was not time wasted. There are lessons in every stage of life. I hear it gets easier after 40…one day you just wake up not giving a damn..LOL!!!
If you have experienced a similar situation, I’d love to hear how you handled it.
I look forward to chatting with you.